Words

My boyfriend is very concerned about the types of books I read. He worries they are too depressing and will bring me down. But what is the point in reading a chipper story that a typical human cannot relate to? I am in agreement with the philosophy of C.S. Lewis..."We read to know we are not alone." I tend toward books where the main character is suffering in some way; going through some kind of ordeal. Especially a mental ordeal - something I can relate to. But usually, when someone writes this kind of book, they show how the tormented dealt with their issues, managed to laugh along the way, and came out the other side. Usually these books are a testament to human strength, hope and endurance and how we often find support from unexpected people and places within ourselves.

In addition to books, I also find connection and comfort through certain song lyrics. Here is an example of a song that I relate to very much and gives me hope. I don't believe someone would have written this if they had not experienced it themselves, or known someone who had.

This is "It's Me" written by Paula Cole.

I am not the person who is singing. I am the silent one inside. I am not the one who laughs at people's jokes. I just pacify their egos. I am not my house, my car, my songs. They are only just stops along my way. I am like the winter. I'm a dark cold female. With a golden ring of wisdom in my cave.

And it is me who is my enemy. Me who beats me up. Me who makes the monsters. Me who strips my confidence.

I am carrying my voice. I am carrying my heart. I am carrying my rhythm. I am carrying my prayers.

But you can't kill my spirit. It's soaring and it's strong. Like a mountain I'll go on and on. But when my wings are folded,the brightly colored moth blends into the dirt into the ground.

And it's me who's too weak, and it's me who's too shy, to ask for the thing I love. And it's me who's too weak, and it's me who's too shy, to ask for the thing I love.

I am walking on the bridge. I am over the water, and I'm scared as hell but I know there's something better. Yes I know there's something better. Yes I know, I know, yes I know.